Rest Your Weary Heart
by squg
Summary: Jeanne is gone but Tony can't move on. Ziva knows **Spoilers** season five - although i haven't wathced season five myself, just have a general idea of what happened between them


Disclaimer: Go figure – I don't own NCIS and no infringement is intended.

Author's Note: I'm still deciding if I'm going to add more to this story – so if nothing else comes it's because I decided I like it the way it is. I have however written like two sentences (literally) of a possible second chapter (that still doesn't mean I'm going to continue though).  
I hope you like it. For the first time I had no idea what I was writing when I wrote this – just sat down and went for it so finger crossed.

(Oh, and the rating is to cover for any future chapters which may or may not contain higher rated content)

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Rest Your Weary Heart

Things didn't affect him like this. At least they never did. Until now – when everything came crashing down on him so fast he could barely breath.

_A smile. That's all it took to win her over. And Jeanne was his once more._

He looked up suddenly – glad to find that he was alone in the office – the last one left at such a late hour.

_Telling her was one thing. It was finding out that he meant it that had been the hardest part._

"_I love you."_

He grabbed his gear and left – quickly.

_She took his hand and led him to her bedroom. A surreal feeling – but a welcome one._

He walked right past his car. He needed to walk. It was a long way but he didn't care.

_She was __confused – and she was angry at him. The way she looked at him – the way she could break his heart with a single glance. And yet it was him who lied – him who had betrayed her.  
__Never lie to someone you love.  
__He'd loved her too late._

There were parts of the footpath that were to dark to see between street lamps. He tripped up and decided to sit under a nearby tree.

_He opened the letter – his heart racing. He needed to choose?  
__He knew what he wanted – but he also knew he couldn't have it._

He sat there for a few hours. His apartment was only a few blocks away but he couldn't stand anymore.

_The fire ate it quickly. The last part of her he had left was gone.  
__H__e still couldn't move on._

His phone vibrated in his pocket. It was 3 am – who could be calling at this hour?

_She'd called in the middle of the night once. Not for any particular reason – just because she wanted to talk. And even though he hated to be woken – hearing he voice felt good._

It was Ziva. He picked up but didn't make a sound.

"Are you okay?"

There was silence for while. Tony could hear Ziva breathing deeply into the phone.

_She slept deeply. Her arms wrapped around him and her head resting gently on his chest. He could feel her breath blowing on his neck - the best feeling in the world._

"Are you at home?"

Another long silence.

_Breakfast with Jeanne was the best part of his day – unless they caught up after work. There was a café not far from the hospital and a park across the road. They'd sit on one of the benches – his arms around her to block the cold morning air. They sat in silence – there was no need for words._

"Where are you? I can come and get you."

He didn't answer and she hung up moments later.

_He watched as she took a sip from her glass and then slurped up some more spaghetti. He couldn't help but smile. She couldn't help but smile back – even if she didn't understand why he was smiling._

Ziva arrived fifteen minutes later. It was beyond him how she'd known where to find him but he was too distracted to care.

_She always knew what to say. Like the time when he'd forgotten they were supposed to be going out for dinner. Work had ru__n late and he forgot to call but when he met her for breakfast the next morning she wasn't angry. Instead she made him promise to take her out that night instead._

Ziva got out of her car and sat a few meters from Tony – giving him space but letting him know that she was there when he needed her.

_It had been a rough day at work. Cases rarely got to him but wh__en they did Jeanne could tell – even if she thought he was just a professor. She knew not to ask questions – just give him space._

He was surprised to find he didn't care that Ziva was there. If it was anyone else he'd be feeling uneasy. He'd want even more space between them. He'd want to be alone.

But it was different with Ziva. She could be sitting right next to him and it wouldn't bother him. He wasn't sure why.

_Her presence was always welcome – just not today. Today he needed to be alone. She could sense it __– so she left. He felt guilty – but not enough to call her back._

He jumped up. Ziva watched him as he walked away but didn't move.

_He__'d called to apologies. She wanted to buy a house – close to the hospital and to the university. It was soon – almost too soon. But just like he told her when he hung up – he loved her. Besides – they were just going to look at it. Nothing was decided yet._

_As he turned back to his desk he caught a glimpse of Ziva and something took him aback. But she quickly turned back to her list of Smith's she had to call before the night was out and he thought nothing more of it._

He arrived at his apartment and went inside. Ziva was moments behind him.

As always, her face gave nothing away. She stood and watched as he sat himself down on his couch, then jumped back up and paced the room.

_She was gone. Her smile – so cute and infectious. Her sweet scent – always so inviting. The cool touch of her skin – silky smooth and soft under his rough fingers. All the__ things he loved most about her – gone with her._

_He tried not to feel it. He tried not to care. He tried to ignore it. But it was always there._

He took a few steps back.

He was standing right in front of Ziva. He couldn't remember walking up to her.

She looked worried. He'd been yelling – he could tell. But what about?

"_I love you."_

Her voice echoed through his ears.

"_I love you too."_

He turned and headed to the bathroom. A shower always fixed things. He turned on the tap – the warm water running over his hand invited him in. But the water didn't wash _her_ away.

_She emerged from the bathroom – hair still damp. She didn't know it but she looked gorgeous. Her smile lighting the room. Her laughter music to his ears. Her lips so soft on his._

Ziva was still there when he returned from the shower. She sat, back propped against the wall, on the floor. She didn't look up when Tony walked in.

He walked into the kitchen only to find he wasn't hungry – which was unusual.

_She watched him wolf done his third serving of pasta. "How can you eat all that?" she laughed. He smiled back and took their plates to the sink. Time for desert!_

He ran his finger through his hair and walked over to the couch where he sat in silence.

Ziva was still starring at an imaginary spot on the ground a few meters from her.

It was late – well, actually early. Ridiculously early. But he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep.

_Their legs__ were tangled, his arms embraced her. Her hair smelt sweet as he lent down and kiss her forehead._

_She was asleep and she looked so peaceful._

Ziva was sitting beside him. He hadn't noticed her curl up on the couch beside him and knit her fingers through his.

He squeezed her hand.

_They walked through the park hand in hand. It was a cool autumn morning and they'd just finished breakfast. He began swing her arm up and down which led to a game of chassy. He let her run ahead and ran after her. Moments latter he had her pinned to the grass pressing his lips to hers._

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I…"

She shook her head. "It's okay."

_Another electric smile._

He tried to push her out of his mind but she slipped right back in.

_She laughed at one of his jokes – it wasn't even a good one but she laughed anyway._

_She nodded in approval as he led her into the restaurant._

_She took the coffee he offered her and sipped it cautiously – he had to laugh._

_She leant her head against his shoulder and shivered in the cold morning air._

_She ran her fingers through his hair and kissed him gently._


End file.
